Dating Can Suck…

Dating, relationships, bad,

I am a girl from Kansas who has had her heart broken many times by men she really loved. But the most recent was the worst. This guy I had been dating for a few months proposed to me and we had a great year being engaged and looking for things to plan out our future. Then all the sudden he decides he is not ready and I respected that so we called it off. He then begins to act very aloof and strange toward me so Break it off all together. A week later he comes back and begs me to take him back because he loves me and promises to do better and maybe we can work our way back up. I agree and then 2 months later he announces that he loves me and wants to be with me but doesn’t see any future with me. Men are soooo aggravating!

dating, relationships, men, engaged, Kansas

Someone asked, how do you rebuild trust? We’re not talking any major breech such as an affair or having a secret Swiss bank account. But in general, when we as singles have suitcases full of past baggage that we bring right on into the next relationship… how do we trust the next time?

Well… we just choose to. I don’t think there’s any way around that.

I had a hard time trusting in a relationship, only because of past issues with another person. I figured out that she was really never going to be able to prove to me that she was trustworthy in the way I was expecting. I almost expected her to slip up somehow and show me some deep secret that would prove how dumb I would be to trust her!

After a few pointless arguments that got me nowhere, I started a new strategy. When I’d have those doubts creep up I’d stop right there and think, “Am I going to trust her or not?” And I took that leap every time. Or, it prompted me to ask for clarification from her, or express my concerns logically or something. Funny, I haven’t thought about it in a while, because the trust is so there now.

Trust is a choice, and it is learned. Keep at it and it will come! I think that’s what they mean when they say, “Love like you’ve never been hurt.”

trust, affairs, relationships, dating, past baggage

Dating Rating System

This was forwarded to me. I found it kinda sappy but kinda sweet.

This was written by a guy)

Don’t break this; it’s so sweet!

1. They will always smell good even if it’s just shampoo.

2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder.

3. How cute they look when they sleep.

4. The ease in which they fit into our arms.

5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in the world.

6. How cute they are when they eat.

7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes it all worth while.

8. Because they are always cold even when it’s 80 degrees out.

9. The way they look good no matter what they wear.

10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know that you think she’s the most beautiful girl on this earth.

11. How cute they are when they argue.

12. The way her hand always finds yours.

13. The way they smile.

14. The way you feel when you see their name on the your cell after you just had a big fight.

15. The way she says “lets not fight anymore” - even though you know that an hour later….

16. The way that they kiss after you have had a fight.

17. The way they kiss you when you say “I love you”.

18. Actually…Just the way they kiss you…

19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry.

20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that silly.

21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt. * i think every girl is guilty of this

22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt (even though we don’t admit it).

23. The way they say “I miss you”.

24. The way you miss them.

25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that it doesn’t hurt her anymore…

Yet regardless if you love them, hate them, wish they would die or know that you would die without them it matters not. Because once in your life, whatever they were to the world they become everything to you. When you look them in the eyes, traveling to the depths of their souls and you say a million things without trace of a sound, you know that your own life is inevitable consumed within the rhythmic beatings of her very heart. We love them for a million reasons, no paper would do it justice. It is a thing not of the mind but of the heart.

A feeling.

Only felt.

relationships, girls, boys, love, sappy, sweet, love poems

I visited an online dating service and introduced myself to a guy who described himself as someone who worked in the theatre arts. He was about my age and nice looking in the photo. We agreed to meet at a local upscale pizza restaurant. When I suggested that he pick up a bottle of wine on the way, he immediately shot the idea down. I was suspicious, but decided to go with it. At the restaurant, he pulled up in a purple Volkswagen, pretty aged at that, parked it and proceeded to come in and greet me. We went over to a table. On the table was a specials menu. He picked it up and began reading aloud each of the specials in a different accent that he thought matched the origin of the item. Following the recitation was a brief, but memorable, miming episode. He didn’t make a box, but sure as hell made me want to crawl into one. We ordered a salad and a pizza. When the salad came, he asked what was on it. I replied, “Balsamic vinegar, you know, a wine based vinegar.” He froze in place until I assured him that there was no alcohol in it. He then pulled out a print out of my online profile and began to grill me with questions. At the end of the meal, which didn’t happen quickly enough, he walked me outside and invited me to his show that following night. At this point, he also told me that he was an actor at the local theatre in town. He was playing Serano and started demonstrating one of the scenes for me on the street. I told him to please save his acting so that I could really enjoy it at the theatre. After a few minutes, he stopped. He then jumped back into his purple car and drove away. Translation of the date: I went out with an alcoholic clown who sucked at impressions! — Lori, 29

Dating, relationships, pizza, Serano, alcoholic

This was probably the most embarrassing moment in my life. I was dating my ex-girlfriend, Barbie, and we had gone to a costume party. She talked me into going as a cheerleader and she went as a football player. That purple cheerleading skirt was very short. That was pretty embarrassing, but not nearly as embarrassing as what happened at the party. Barbie also talked me into wearing a pair of panties under my cheerleading skirt. She went to the store and bought me this purple string-bikini. She said she wanted to get a brief, but only the string-bikini matched my purple skirt. Those panties liked to crawl up on me after I took only three steps and would quickly get pretty “cheeky”. I figured no one would ever see those panties. Boy, was I wrong. There were party games and the first one was “bobbing for apples.” Barbie told me I should do it, so I did. I never even thought twice about it! Well, I bent over to start bobbing for apples when I heard giggling from behind me. It took me a minute but I finally realized what was so funny. I had given a purple panty show to lots of people behind me. Yikes! I was so embarrassed! There are even pictures to prove it. Barbie and her friends still tease me about it and I still blush. — Randy, 32

Dating, relationships, cheerleading, skirt, panties, Barbie

Originally posted in Ruhani Rabins blog

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys. (from a girls point of view)

1. While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are… plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.
2. They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.
3. They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such… but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.
4. Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.
5. They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?
6. Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.
7. Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra… all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.
8. They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?
9. Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.

Girl: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models… They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo…”
Girl: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Girl: “Never mind…”
10. Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.
11. His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on…” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code… a geek can dream).
12. They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.
13. They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce…
14. You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps…
15. And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “Damn baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

geeks, Interesting, , lifestyle, , nerds, relationships, dating, girls, Ruhani Rabin